I have decided, it’s time for me to move to India. Most of the people have apparently left that country and are now living in the US. Most of the doctors and high tech people in the US are now from India. The few remaining in that country are doing the outsourcing jobs from US companies. Whenever I have a problem with my computer or some high tech piece of equipment to support the computer I am put in contact with someone in India who is speaking from a cubical, surrounded by many others performing the same function, talking to stupid Americans. I can barely understand their nasal, high-pitched voice, spoken with a rapid staccato like the sounds made by plucking a string instrument. For me, an old, partially deaf, dummy Texan, it is unintelligible.
The other day when we had a freak snowstorm in Central Texas, at Easter, my electricity went out. I tried to call TXU. I was connected to their automatic answering machine and found myself punching 1 for this and 2 for that, all the way up to what seemed like a hundred options. I would then get looped back to 1 or they would say thank you for calling TXU. I had to give them my account number which I couldn’t find in the dark and certainly don’t have memorized. At my age I have trouble remembering my birthday and social security number. After about an hour, I was lucky enough to get a human, I think. She was in India trying to help me get my electricity on in Salado, Texas by a company called Texas Utilities. I wasn’t sure she understood a word I was saving because I sure didn’t understand her. The only thing she kept repeating was, “estimated time of service 2 AM.” She answered every question with, “estimated time of service 2AM.” I might as well have been talking to my granddaughter’s talking doll. I looked around to see if I was on Candid Camera, but it was too dark for a camera to see anything.
Everything is being outsourced to those folks in India, even my job of reading X-Rays and they don’t have to worry about getting sued. They may already be doing robotic surgery from India.
The only thing that keeps me from going is that I love beef, to eat. I also hate snakes, especially cobras and I don’t care about bathing with everyone else in the Ganges River. I guess for now I will just stay at home and enjoying hamburgers and bathing in a cold shower because I have no electricity.