Who would have ever dreamed that a simple head of lettuce could cause so much trouble? It’s bringing Taco Bell to its knees. It’s not the lettuce but the fecal water used to irrigate it that’s the problem. Fecal contamination is the source of the deadly E. Coli bacteria which is hidden in the lettuce leaves. If the water is contaminated in places like California I hate to think what it contains in places like Mexico. I have been stricken with the E. Coli bug while in Mexico. It’s even in the drinking water in Mexico. You seem to pick it up just walking around down there. That’s the reason I rarely go south of San Antonio. It may be the reason so many illegal aliens are crossing the border. There are just not enough toilets in Mexico to handle the load.
What is next? The meat is contaminated with E. Coli and the mad cow organism. It will probably be that the mustard will contain radioactive material and we will explode after taking a bite of the burger. I think I will just stay home and raise my own food in the garden and have a few chickens roaming around in the yard who will the primary source of meat in my diet. That is what I was raised on and managed to survive. Surely something will be wrong with that approach to the problem but if I get sick at least I can die at home rather than in an ugly hospital. Staying at home all the time will also be nice because I can celebrate Christmas with the drapes closed so that no one will be offended.