Monday, January 28, 2008

Today, Ted Kennedy endorsed Obama for president. That’s very reassuring to me. It’s the main endorsement I was waiting for. All the movie stars and Oprah are also backing Obama, so that means he is a shoe in. I don’t know why we are going to the expense of an election. Let’s just inaugurate the man and pull out the troops. Other things we can implement right away are to expand Medicare to include all ages and place everyone on welfare. Those who make over $2,000 a year or anyone who is employed will be taxed at the 99% level. All property, including your household and it’s contents will become the property of the government. We are going to move the Capitol to New Orleans. Go Obama!!

Ted Kenndey will be a great asset to the campaign. He can follow Obama around and be the official toaster at all the fund raising events. He can also give Obama swimming lessons including life saving techniques. Because of his exquisite taste for fine food and drink he can always be counted on to liven up state dinners and toga parties.

Now, Obama is hoping for the big endorsement from Britney Spears. It was reported today that Britney is big business. The celebrity news industry is big business and Britney is the star. Newsstand sales for Tabloids were at a record high last year, at 2.39 billion. Much of the success was due to Britney. People magazine prints 2.5 million copies and sells about 1.5 million. If it sells 2 million then the extra half million goes to the bottom line. Spears has been on the cover of People 54 out of the last 103 issues, and is helping them break sales records. She is also big business for photographers with her baldhead picture being one of the most famous and valuable photos of all time.

If Obama can pick up Britney’s endorsement he should capture over 90% of the vote in the general election. If he could pick up Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan in addition to Britney he would be guaranteed almost 100% of the vote. It would be unbelievable if Britney’s pregnant teenage sister could also endorse him, but she, unfortunately, is too young to vote. With all these endorsement he should be made dictator for life.

It’s sure good to be on the porch away from all the madness. I now get most of my news on the computer and it’s even hard there to weed out the junk that includes Britney Spears and Ted Kennedy. I’ve become seasick riding the ups and downs of the stockmarket. I’m just going to stick to reading my books and writing the blog.


Blogger jeff ludwick said...

Oh Lord! If all this weren't all so true I could laugh myself sick. Aren't you glad that you retired at just the right time. With King Obama in office and all of the Kennedy's giving him advice you will have it made. There will be a chicken for every pot, free utilities to cook the chicken, free chicken soup for all that ails us and a government so perfect that we will finally know not only which came first, the chicken or the egg but we will also know why the chicken crossed the get his check.

9:11 AM  

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