Thursday, November 02, 2006

There is now hope for the fat gluttons of the world. Researchers have discovered that fat mice who take a large amount of resveratrol, an extract from red wine, live longer, are more healthy and much more vigorous and happy. This means it’s okay to eat all you want as long as you drink plenty of red wine or take resveratrol when it comes out in a pill. Apparently cholesterol doesn’t matter either.
This also means all the fuss about trans fat can be forgotten. KFC who recently decided to eliminate trans fat in their cooking process can now go back to the good old hog grease and keep chicken “finger licking good.”
We should be able to rely on this information because what is good for rats is certainly good for humans since we are very close kin. As a matter of fact most of our politicians are rats, just look at John Kerry and Hillary Clinton, not to speak of the recent Republicans who have resigned from office because of political scandal and sexual misconduct. Even many of our clergy are rats. So, we should all be safe.
Research is also very reliable. This is the same group of people who a few years ago advised women that they should take estrogen and progesterone hormones to strengthen the bones and prevent osteoporosis. They said there was no danger in developing cancer with this hormone combination.
So, lets go to McDonald’s for lunch and have a big order of fries followed by a glass of red wine before we call the ambulance.


Blogger jeff ludwick said...

I think you are right on again, Doc. The grocery stores and WalMarts will soon take on the look of the proposed Trans Texas Corridor superhighway. Where there used to be one or two of those electric people carts in the stores, now there are dozens. I have noticed that the slugs they are transporting don't have casts, bandages, crutches or any other medical problems. They are all just obese. Fat carts. Hippo hoppers. Slugmobiles. Lard haulers. Obeseobagos. Can't wait for the '07 models to come out....

12:35 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home