Thursday, September 28, 2006

Initial news reports, yesterday, indicated that Dallas Cowboy receiver Terrell Owens attempted suicide. That statement was quickly retracted and reported that it was an accident that he took more than 35 pain pills for a broken finger. I suspect the latter report is correct. Individuals who attempt suicide are usually depressed and to be depressed it is necessary to have a brain. We are pretty certain that Owens does not posses a brain or at least one which has a cerebral cortex. Like most of the Dallas Cowboys of today he functions purely at a brain stem level.
He probably had the notion (not thought) that if one pill doesn't relieve the pain why not take the whole bottle full. That's how the thing probably happened so now let's get back to some worthwhile news like what did Bush do wrong today.

2 Comments:

Blogger jeff ludwick said...

My grandmother on my father's side could spew Bible verses for any and every occasion or fork in the road faster than a rap star can spew filth. She steadfastly said that there is no such thing as "attempted" suicide. Believe that is true in this case, too.

6:51 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

"T.O" is only interested in himself and how much attention he can garner. I waste so much time following these professional, jock thugs. I agree let's get down to more important matters like slamming political leaders around the world.

5:59 PM  

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