Monday, September 18, 2006

The Vatican has been placed on high alert for a possible terrorist attack following last weeks statement by the Pope regarding the Muslims. Rumor has it that the Sistine Chapel is a prime target for a direct hit by a plane or a suicide bomber. It started when Pope Benedict XVI made a speech last week at Regansburg University in Germany and quoted a 14th Century Byzantine Emperor who said ”show me just what Muhammad brought that was new an there you will find things only evil and inhumane, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” The evil and inhumane part didn’t go over too well with the Muslims who had been waiting for something else to demonstrate about and launch more suicide attacks. Muslims love to demonstrate and roam in mass crowds in the street with posters and stuffed figures they can burn in effigy. It’s great sport for them.
Inside sources at the Vatican said that some of the Cardinals only laughed at the matter because Benedict’s predecessor Pope John Paul II said much worse things and got away with it because no one could understand what he was muttering as he slumped in his chair. Some who were very close to him, [you had to be real close to hear], had heard him say, “those swarthy heathens should burn, I just wish we could start another good Crusade.” No one ever understood John Paul so the words did no harm.
Even though Benedict has apologized the Muslims are not satisfied. At least two churches have been torched in the Palestinian West Bank in the name of the loving and forgiving prophet Muhammad. The Muslims have said, “he has committed a grave error against us and we demand a personal apology which is his tongue on a silver platter.”
All of this doesn’t bode well for the Pope and his upcoming visit to Turkey. One of the most outspoken critics regarding his statement is Al Bardakogla a Turkish cleric. In preparation for the visit the pope is having a special tank built for him to make his grand entry. It will be the first time a pope has paraded in a tank. The tank will have paintings on each side showing Muhammad and Jesus shaking hands with doves flying around them. Hopefully, the Muslims wont shoot at a picture of Muhammad. The pope wishes to convey a message of peace and that they worship the same God of love who speaks only good words about his fellow man, even if they are a heathen pig, and he is also a God who only uses the sword on the worthless head of an infidel.
As far as us Baptist are concerned, our prayers are with the pope and that Baylor will win another game this year.


Blogger jeff ludwick said...

Well, This is George Bush's chance to really make things right. He should offer the Muslims the Baylor and Temple University football teams in exchange for 72 virgins to be named later. The crowds could still demonstrate and roam in mass crowds with posters and stuffed mascots and root for or against either team until Muhammad returns. It would take that long for either team to score a touchdown. And Bush would get off of the hot seat because of the spinach e-coli outbreak that he caused. I think that they must put some of that spinach in those frozen Mexican food dinners because they affect me the same ways that the ecoli is hitting these poor souls.

11:30 AM  

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