Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The FBI’s most wanted person in America was arrested this week near Las Vegas, Nevada. Fugitive Warren Steed Jeff was arrested along with one of his 40 wives. He is America’s best know polygamist and leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-day Saints. He took over the leadership of the church following the death of his 98 year old father who had several wives and 65 children. The younger Jeff has about 60 children so far.
When pulled over by the police he said, “I just had to get out of the compound for awhile because the kids were driving me crazy and I had enough of my wives bitching about not doing enough about the house and staying in bed all day.” He said, “ I just didn’t have the strength to carry on trying to service all those women and help chase after the kids to boot.”
Jeff has been accused of promoting the marriage of young girls to married men. “There are just not enough white men to go around.” he said in defense of his polygamy views. “Muslims men are accustomed to servicing a house full of virgins but we aren’t going to let that kind into our church,” he said. He claimed that, “Jesus doesn’t like swarthies and blacks and we don’t want them in our church to worship our God of love and mercy.”
Jeff was on his way to pick up his friend John Mark Karr who had just been released from jail in Boulder Colorado for not murdering JonBenet Ramsey. They were planning on attending a pedophile convention. Following the meeting of pedophiles they had planned to attend a beauty contest for preschool children and pick out a few who might be easily abducted and then violated and finally buried in a new piece of property they had recently acquired in the desert.


Blogger jeff ludwick said...

Well, Doc as Ronald Reagan would Say "There you go again..." It is obvious that you are not up with the times or you would know that Warren Steed Jeff's (it's always three names with these guys) trangressions are not his fault. Even the media agrees. The front page of the newspaper doesn't even mention his arrest but instead covers the anniversary of hurricane Katrina, various civil rights issues and the continued progress of the new synthetic turf at the high school football field. Newsworthy items all. Mr. Jeff is a product of society and his father. His father had many wives and 65 children. He was helpless to follow any other path. I must say that these things often confuse me though. Each time a murderer, child molester, etc. commits a crime the media will always jump to his/her defense by saying it was a result of their childhood. Makes me worry that I was, in fact, adopted. My father, and his father before him, had a sincere dislike for cats and rock music. They both loved liver and onions and bluegrass music. I, on the other hand, have found myself able to tolerate some cats and a smattering of rock music. Conversely I have never developed a taste for liver or bluegrass. Best these things left for Rosie to research and try to clear up.

10:59 AM  

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