Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Ordinarily, things like the escalation of the war in Afghanistan, the struggling economy, healthcare reform legislation the financial crisis associated with the emerald city in the desert, Dubal, and the proliferation of nuclear enrichment plants in Iran would be top news that would scare us to death and get our attention. All of these news items have taken a back seat this week to more important matters like the crashing of a White House party by a couple of people with weird names and even of greater importance, the wreak involving Tiger Woods.

Tareq Salahi and his wife Michaele managed to slip through security and walk right in on a big White House party and be greeted by the President. They had their picture taken with folks like Joe Biden and apparently had a big time at the party. They pulled it off by being well dressed and just acting like they were celebrities and big shots, so security didn’t dare question their identity for fear of embarrassing themselves for not knowing this possible famous couple. It’s a great trick if you have the nerve to pull it off. It’s sort of like walking into a hospital with a white coat and a stethoscope around your neck and pretending to be a doctor; nobody would dare question you for fear of getting chewed out or looking stupid.

The biggest news of the week was Tiger Woods smashing his car into a fireplug while backing out of his driveway at 2:30 in the morning. This has been international news and everyone is wondering why he would do such a thing and not give an explanation of where he was going. There can only be one logical explanation. There was obviously a domestic dispute and he had such a burst of temper he blew it off by jumping into his car and gunning it out of the driveway right into the fireplug. There is only one reason for a domestic dispute at that hour of the morning and it most certainly had to do with sex or the lack of by his partner. He was like a raging bull looking for relief. He should of thought of a cold shower, but with matters like this you usually are incapable of thinking. The blood drains out of your brain into other parts of your body making thinking impossible. That’s the reason there are so many births in the world. The public is not going to stop inquiring about this story and all of Tiger’s affairs will now be aired and all sorts of women will be claiming they have been to bed with the golfing billionaire. Many other women in heat and in search of fame will be seeking his attention. His good guy reputation has been forever tainted and he now joins the ranks of most Hollywood celebrities. All of this because his wife had a headache.

It’s great just rocking on the porch and not having to worry about such matters at my age. I’m content to watch the social behavior of the deer and other wild animals in my backyard that is really not much different from our current newsmakers.


Blogger jeff ludwick said...

Maybe it's just because it is the holiday season but to me the national current events are just too good to be true. Even though a Blackhouse dinner is not something I would care to attend, it would be right up Andy's alley. Of course he could never slip in as "Andy Montgomery". Otis the drunk from Mayberry would have a better chance. He would have to attend as "Andrew Salahi" or maybe "Tareq Hussein Montgomery" to get his picture taken with Biden. And "Rosie" would definitely not cut it. "Rosaria" or "Rosalita Michaele" would have her buttering her cornbread right beside the first lady. Just think if they got in with one of those throwdown cameras from Walgreen's what pictures they could get.

As far as Tiger the Terrific, this opens new doors for millions of Americans at this time of the year. If some poor soul has a bit too much eggnog and swaps paint with a fire hydrant or their neighbors car,etc. they can now just tell the authorities to "just come back tomorrow" if they don't feel like discussing it right then.....this is the kind of kinder and gentler country that I have always envisioned....

6:32 AM  
Blogger Andy Montgomery said...

I am sure that George Bernard Shaw would be proud for the Salahi folks. The best all time party crasher was Audrey Hepburn in the movie My Fair Lady. In the movie, Eliza Doolittle was announced and all the heads turned.

7:02 AM  

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