Ordinarily, things like the escalation of the war in Afghanistan, the struggling economy, healthcare reform legislation the financial crisis associated with the emerald city in the desert, Dubal, and the proliferation of nuclear enrichment plants in Iran would be top news that would scare us to death and get our attention. All of these news items have taken a back seat this week to more important matters like the crashing of a White House party by a couple of people with weird names and even of greater importance, the wreak involving Tiger Woods.

Tareq Salahi and his wife Michaele managed to slip through security and walk right in on a big White House party and be greeted by the President. They had their picture taken with folks like Joe Biden and apparently had a big time at the party. They pulled it off by being well dressed and just acting like they were celebrities and big shots, so security didn’t dare question their identity for fear of embarrassing themselves for not knowing this possible famous couple. It’s a great trick if you have the nerve to pull it off. It’s sort of like walking into a hospital with a white coat and a stethoscope around your neck and pretending to be a doctor; nobody would dare question you for fear of getting chewed out or looking stupid.

The biggest news of the week was Tiger Woods smashing his car into a fireplug while backing out of his driveway at 2:30 in the morning. This has been international news and everyone is wondering why he would do such a thing and not give an explanation of where he was going. There can only be one logical explanation. There was obviously a domestic dispute and he had such a burst of temper he blew it off by jumping into his car and gunning it out of the driveway right into the fireplug. There is only one reason for a domestic dispute at that hour of the morning and it most certainly had to do with sex or the lack of by his partner. He was like a raging bull looking for relief. He should of thought of a cold shower, but with matters like this you usually are incapable of thinking. The blood drains out of your brain into other parts of your body making thinking impossible. That’s the reason there are so many births in the world. The public is not going to stop inquiring about this story and all of Tiger’s affairs will now be aired and all sorts of women will be claiming they have been to bed with the golfing billionaire. Many other women in heat and in search of fame will be seeking his attention. His good guy reputation has been forever tainted and he now joins the ranks of most Hollywood celebrities. All of this because his wife had a headache.

It’s great just rocking on the porch and not having to worry about such matters at my age. I’m content to watch the social behavior of the deer and other wild animals in my backyard that is really not much different from our current newsmakers.