I am very honored to announce that I have received this years Nobel Prize for, “Best Blog.” This is the first year the blog category has been recognized and it is with a great deal of humility that I accept the award. When contacted by the Nobel Prize committee I was told that I was selected because my blog has accomplished absolutely nothing and is read by only a handful of loyal friends. The committee assured me that the criteria for selection was the same as for the Peace Prize. Boy, was I honored! The Peace Prize recipient couldn’t make that statement.
There are several other categories that have been added this year. Some of the new categories are: Best Club Newsletter; Best Get Well Card Greeting; Best Letter To The Editor; Best Bumper Sticker; Best Tee Shirt Slogan; Best Protestor Sign Slogan; and Best Wall Comment on Facebook.
I am especially honored because there are literally millions of people out there writing worthless blogs. I was also pleased because the committee couldn’t figure out if I am a liberal or conservative. They apparently knew I wasn’t Jewish or Muslim or I wouldn’t have been considered.
This is really something else. Now I can join the ranks of some of my heroes like; Hemingway, Steinbeck and Faulkner. I know the current recipient of the Peace Prize must feel the same way. He must be thinking, “gee I’m right up there with people like Jimmy Carter.”
Anyway, it’s a great honor. I understand that my prize will be a coupon for a large bag of fries at McDonalds with purchase of a Big Mac. I do hope they give me a certificate or plaque so I can hang it on the wall of the porch along with the other certificates I have collected since childhood like my “Captain Marvel Club Certificate.”