Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I found out today that the lowly cow accounts for more of the greenhouse gases than does the automobile. This was an astonishing revelation to me. It’s not the flatulence and mature that causes the problem but the growing number of cattle has resulted in deforestation to create the necessary pasture-land to satisfy their appetite. Cattle account for 18% of greenhouse gas emissions. 9% of CO2, 37% of methane and 65% of nitrous oxide in the atmosphere are produced by cattle. I hate to think what the figure would be if we added elephants and other wild animals to the list. I’m sure glad the dinosaurs are extinct. If the prehistoric animals were still around the planet would now be a complete desert.
Of course we humans make the problem worse by consuming so much beef. It is estimated that in developed countries such as the US, the average person consumes about 80 kilos or 175 lbs of beef per year. That’s a bunch of McDonald’s hamburgers and Outback steaks.
The solution to the global warming problem is for us to stop eating beef and stop driving gasoline powered automobiles and also cease all industrial emissions. The first step is to elect Al Gore President and switch to a diet of beans, vegetables and fruits. The problem with this scenario is our emissions might be worse than the cow and the automobile combined. Guess the best thing to do is stay home on a liquid diet but be sure an avoid milk because that comes from the offending cow. Make sure you have plenty of cover because it may be pretty cold in the resulting ice age. We just can’t win.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The mug photo of Lisa Novak, the astronaut who made the bizarre trip to Florida to wipe out a competitive lover, reminded me of my photo taken recently for a drivers license renewal. People who design the cameras and take these pictures must have flunked out of photography school. The pictures always make you look horrible. I couldn’t recognize the astronaut with the haggard face on her recent arrest photo. I much prefer her in the orange astronaut suit with the large neck ring for attachment of the space helmet. All the patches on the suit and the American flag in the background and the model space ship in front make her look great and very important. The mug shot makes her look like a homeless street person.
Anyway, my drivers license picture looks much like the mug shot of the downfallen astronaut. One of the main problems I am going to have is when I go to show the picture for identification I will not appear to be the same person on the license card. At least I hope I am not that same person, it is very frightening if I am. When I first saw the picture I immediately made an appointment with plastic surgery for a face lift, to be followed by a stomach revision to lose weight. I finally cancelled when I decided the picture really wasn’t me and there must have been a mix up at the Department of Public Safety Office. The lady who took my information and snapped the picture really didn’t look to be interested in her work and could very well have made a mistake. My wife advised me that it was really me after two days of non-stop laughing at the photo. She has placed me on a strict diet and has me wear large sunglasses and a hat when we go out into public.
My photo sure made me feel sorry for Lisa. I started to use my photo instead of hers on the blog but thought I would wait until Halloween to post mine.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

The press is having a field day with the activities of this week. The love triangle with attempted murder and kidnapping by the astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak was enough to keep all the news networks going at full speed. The death of Anna Nicole Smith today has almost overloaded the news system. Nancy Grace, Greta Van Susteren, and Anderson Cooper have gone wild and are almost schizophrenic trying to cover all the action. In a way I am almost sorry for the poor demented astronaut, she is like an animal in the center ring of a circus. May God rest the tormented soul of the poor sweetheart of Mexia, Anna Nichole Smith.
The Romans had their fun with crucifixions but the press does the same thing today and it is almost as barbaric. They have great sport in judging someone before the facts are known. Nowak is obviously sick in the head, to wear diapers across the country, carrying a BB gun and pepper spay to do her victim in. She must be stressed out of her mind, but the press is ready to convict her. At least the heat is off President Bush for a few days. Haven’t even heard much about Barack Hussein Obama, Hillary Clinton or Iraq this week. The polar caps are melting and the seas are rising but it’s more entertaining to hear about the likes of a crazy astronaut and a drug crazed sex goddess.
I’m hoping that Nancy Pelosi will hijack a 747 for her personal use. If she got Nowak to pilot the plane and both wore diapers on their way to California that would make a great story. At least it would take our mind off the problems with the melting planet and the fanatics in the Middle East.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The tongue is an amazing organ of the body. It has a mind of it’s own. Just get a hole in your tooth and try to keep it from exploring the cavity. Go to the dentist office and have them tell you to keep your tongue on the other side of your mouth while they work away on one side, the tongue will simply explore what is being done on its own and will not obey your will.
The Bible says: Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things, Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
The tongue has sure done in a couple of recent Presidential hopefuls. John Kerry has withdrawn from the race and claims his botched joke was a main factor. Kerry told a group of students that if they couldn’t make it in our educational system then they would “end up stuck in Iraq.” In other words only the stupid end up having to join the army and fight our unnecessary wars and be killed. That statement by his smart tongue did him in.
More recently, Senator Joe Biden of Delaware said of Barack Hussein Obama, “ he is the first main stream African-American who is articulate and bright and CLEAN and a nice looking guy.” The word CLEAN was his downfall on his opening bid for the run for the presidency. Did he really mean, all blacks are dirty and need a bath? Thanks, tongue.
Like I said the tongue is an amazing organ of the body and can do us in. Only one other organ can get you into more trouble and it helped bring down a president like Bill Clinton. That organ is not just the one that belongs to men, just look at the story of the female astronaut this week.