Today, my spouse and I made the mistake of attending the church service in our Village of Salado. They had changed the service times around, so the 11:00AM service was the so called “contemporary service” rather than a traditional service. The contemporary service is the one that is supposed to appeal to the younger generation and the folks interested in Rock Music. This, theoretically, helps bring them into the fold.

The music was worse than horrible. There were two loud guitars, drums, keyboard, a saxophone player with sunglasses and two singers. There were very few young people in the service. For thirty minutes the congregation had to stand as the rock group performed. It was absolute torture. The government should try this technique rather than water-boarding. It is enough to make the most hardened AL Qaeda terrorist confess to anything. No one in the congregation sang except the two singers in the band. They sang, so called, praise music. I couldn’t understand the words to any of it. The minister finally spoke, and it was a fair sermon, although he played the harmonica to illustrate a point. His sermon was about Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, where the trumpets were blown and the people shouted and the walls came tumbling down. I guarantee you; if the rock group, at church this morning, had been at Jericho they would have had the same effect as the trumpets. Not only would the walls have come down, everyone would have run for cover including the Children of Israel.

To borrow a line from “The Catcher in the Rye” spoken by Holden Caulfield, “if Jesus would have been there he would have puked.” I hope to have a good shot at gaining entrance into the heavenly hereafter, and if I do I hope there are indeed many mansions in the place. I want to be in a mansion far removed from the rock and praise music singers. I would much prefer the harp and traditional music. It would be nice to be near the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or in the same place as George Beverly Shea. I wouldn’t even mind visiting the Church of Christ group who don’t use instruments at all. I probably won’t bother the Church of Christ folks because I want them to continue to think they are the only ones there.

Anyway, as I have said before there is no place like the porch for reverence. I can simply shut the rock bunch out completely, and put on the recording of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or George Beverly Shea to get me in a reverent mood. There you have it. I know I have offended some folks with this one.