Friday, May 30, 2008

I thought the Indiana Jones movie was a little far fetched until I saw the above photo in the news this week. It’s an aerial photo of a lost tribe in the Amazon. They have never had any contact with the civilized world. I’m sure happy these savages have been found. We need to airdrop some essential supplies to them immediately. They are in great need of television sets and cells phones. The poor creatures don’t even realize they are going to hell. They have never heard about Jesus. The bare-breasted, half naked women are also very vulnerable to the Muslim extremist who my crash a plane into there village in order to kill the infidels.

These poor folks have, not only, never been to church; they have never seen the Super Bowl, Anderson Cooper, Nancy Grace or Larry King. They don’t even know about the American Idol or who won Dancing with the Stars. We must be careful to alcohol wipe all the items sent to take care of their everyday necessities. These people have absolutely no immunity to even the most minor of our infections. A common cold could prove fatal.

As soon as we get some of the necessary electronic material in to them we then need to drop in essential drugs like Ritalin and Prozac, so they can cope with the stresses of the modern world. These unfortunate folks have been deprived for centuries and they need assistance from the UN on down so they can enjoy the miserable state of our world.

I guess one of the most pathetic things about the poor wretches is their lack of dependence on gasoline. They simply need to come to know the vital importance of this precious commodity. They may even be sitting on a rich reserve of the liquid gold and could become filthy rich like other barbarians in the world.

I hope Anderson Copper will have his news team down there right away for interviews. Maybe if the world can see the plight and neglect of these people, FEMA will be forced into action and the incompetence of the Bush Administration further exposed for not finding these people sooner.

In the mean time I think I will watch a few Tarzan movies on the porch so I will have a better understanding of how to deal with these poor unfortunate savages. Wouldn’t it be something if they found King Kong or a big cave full of treasure when we get in there to loot their village?


Blogger jeff ludwick said...

Let's hope and pray that they DO have a cave full of treasure or, at least, a couple of those crystal skulls to sell. It will only be a matter of time before the Bell County Tax Appraisal District will send these poor pilgrims tax notices on their grass huts. Judging from the picture I would say the grass hut they are guarding will appraise at around $250,000.

Next the state of Texas will send them a blank Texas Franchise Report to complete and then, finally, the U.S. will send them a form 1040 packet to fill out. If they make too much money the government will take most of it, and if they don't make enough the government will send them some of mine. They are going to really be happy that they have been "found"....

10:56 AM  

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