New evidence continues to emerge regarding the transmission of the H1N1 virus and the susceptibility of individuals to the disease. I recently described the actions being taken by our local hospital to stop the spread of this highly contagious and deadly virus. They feel that ties and shirtsleeves harbor the virus and hospital workers are forbidden to wear this attire. They have also proposed the removal of all Gideon Bibles from patient’s rooms because the Bible may be a source of transmission.

The investigators and administrator at our hospital may be upstaged by the city council in Honolulu, Hawaii. The council is about to pass an ordinance that makes it against the law to go around in public with body odor. They aren’t doing this as a deterrent to Swine Flu but as an effort to make the place more attractive to tourist. I predict that this will greatly reduce the incidence of Swine Flu in Hawaii. I also predict that the sale of deodorants such as Right Guard and Ban will sore.

It’s obvious that the flu bug is more attracted to filth than the Bible, shirtsleeves or ties. Odor and filth have to be the reasons the virus started in pigs. It just makes good sense that cleanliness and sweet smells should be the best deterrent to the bug. The folks in Honolulu may really be on to something and not even aware of their great discovery. That’s the way a lot of great discoveries have been made in the past.

It is also hoped that with the development of the vaccine the epidemic will come to an end but there are potential problems with the immunization program. President Obama will most likely make a plea to the nation to get the vaccine. This will probably be interpreted as a plot by the President to turn us into a socialist state. There will be town hall meetings, demonstrations and a boycott of the immunizations. Most of the Conservatives will develop the flu and the ranks will be thinned, thus guaranteeing Democrats to remain in office and pass their many social programs and raise taxes. This may indeed be a conspiracy by the left wing to finally annihilate the conservative movement.

The best thing for me to do is stay confined to the porch and covered with a lot of deodorant. I just hope the H1N1 virus will finally mutate into a benign form and even be eradicated like smallpox.