While in Santa Fe, I worried about what the deer would do to my yard while I was away.. I had abandoned my outpost on the porch and was not there to defend my plants. When I returned and surveyed the damage I was surprised that the loss was not more extensive. They had managed to finish off my potted geraniums and leaves on the pepper plants. Most of my deer resistant plants are working. At least they didn’t break into the house and eat the food in my pantry.

I have now become acquainted with another pest. The evening of my return I noticed a big juicy pepper on one of the plants near the street. The next morning when I put out the trash, the beautiful pepper was gone. None of the leaves were disturbed on the plant. The deer eat the leaves but never the pepper itself. It was obviously something else that picked the pepper. Our street is very popular for walkers because it’s shady and is a place for a beautiful stroll. I’m certain that the thief was a two-legged creature out for exercise. Now homo sapiens has been added to my list of pest.

My porch sits more than 100 feet from the street. It’s an interesting phenomenon that folks who walk past and see me frequently wave. They wave whether they know me or not. I see folks in the grocery store and other public places like the mall and they hardly ever wave. I don’t know what it is about the street and the porch that prompts them to be friendly. I’m always waving when I’m driving and pass someone on the street even if I don’t know hem. I wouldn’t think of waving at them in any other setting. It’s strange.

I have always been encouraged with this friendly disposition of folks walking along my street. The wave is a nice thing. But now the real truth comes out; some of them are thieves. Even the most church going, friendly person will steal you blind if given the chance. I try to be on the positive side and overlook the faults of my fellow man, but it’s hard when they steal the peppers right out of my yard. It makes me want to turn into the Hulk. As an experiment, I’m gong to start leaving some tempting morsels in my yard near the street and see how fast they disappear. If the pepper thievery continues I may have to station myself with the BB gun on the porch and have creatures other than the deer in my sights.

The thievery really shouldn’t surprise me. Homo sapiens can never be trusted. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve stealing the apple off the tree even though they had been warned by God. They are even worse than the deer and it’s going to be tougher defending my plants against this vicious species. Some of them even have brains. I made the mistake of putting my herb garden next to the street, so it’s doomed. I think I may start irrigating with water from my septic tank. Maybe the e-coli will be a good deterrent. The problem is that it will spoil the plants for my own use. I guess the best thing for me to do is give up on growing anything. You can never win the battle against homo sapiens; history has proven that to be impossible. I’ll just sit on the porch and pretend to be friendly with the deer and homo sapiens by waving. They will never know what I’m really thinking behind my smile and friendly greeting. All I can do is find where they live and steal some of their peppers; I think that’s the way humans usually do it. It’s called revenge and works well for entire nations as well as individuals.