Since retiring we have traveled a great deal. As a result, we have spent a lot of time in motels. Our favorites are Holiday Inn Express, Hampton Inn and Best Western. During my time we have also stayed in some very fancy and expensive hotels in cities and resorts. My partner likes the plush hotels but we are both content with the motels. There is sure a lot of difference in the price.

The main thing we look for in a motel is cleanliness. If the facility is less than 5 years old they are still pretty clean. The motel also allows you to park very close to your room for free. A hotel will charge 15 of more dollars a night for parking and you still have to tip the guy who brings you the car. The motel gives you a free breakfast as opposed to paying 30 or more dollars for the hotel breakfast. Motels are also usually conveniently located near the highway, rather than the middle of town surrounded by muggers.

I hardly ever pay the price initially quoted for the motel. When I tell them I’m AARP or AAA the price for the room drops.. All of the rooms are too high. When I was a student in Baylor I lived in a small room in a private home. My room rent was 14 dollars a month. My rent for the entire year was what one night in a motel cost today. One night in an expensive hotel would have almost covered my entire expenses for a semester.

The construction in most motels and even some good hotels is not much better than that of a mobile home. The walls are paper thin and you can hear all sort of action in the room next door. It’s great entertainment. I have even thought about bringing my stethoscope on our trips so I can hear more of the details. On one occasion a guy had a lady of the night in bed and it was most exciting and better than any movie or TV show. I rarely turn on the TV for fear it will drown out the fun. I just sit quietly and read, waiting for the action. I am often disappointed, because it is a family with a room full of kids with the parents threatening to kill them.

Our last trip was a little different. We heard a persistent, loud, recurrent, almost rhythmic noise. At first. I thought it was a car in the parking lot having trouble. Soon, I realized it was someone next door snoring. I have never heard anything so loud. I’m sure the guy had sleep apnea. I just hope he lived through the night. It reminded me of the story of John Wesley Hardin, the famous Texas Gunslinger who killed 44 men in his lifetime. One of those he killed was in a hotel room in Abilene, Kansas. He shot the guy for snoring. If I had been in New Jersey I might have pulled a John Wesley Hardin. Hardin would have loved living in New Jersey with the new, no death penalty law.

Motels are almost as much fun as the porch. At my age. my heart can’t handle all the action I hear through the walls of the motel and I sure hate snoring, so my best place is the porch.